Fanfiction: Rules for Roommates, modern au, WIP (7/?)

Title: Rules for Roommates - 7/?
Fandom: Merlin (Merlin/Arthur, mentions of Arthur/Gwaine)
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 4k (26k so far)
Summary: Modern AU. Arthur works in publishing and is ashamed to tell anyone he's secretly editing erotica, and being bullied by one of his authors - the arrogant 'Lake Anders'. He's also just taken in a new roommate, the adorable Merlin Emrys, who is definitely Not His Type. Or is he?
Previous chapters: CHAPTER ONE; CHAPTER TWO; CHAPTER THREE; CHAPTER FOUR; CHAPTER FIVE; CHAPTER SIX



Even though Arthur was technically on holiday from work he had a bad habit of checking his blackberry at all hours. Not because he thought there was going to be some kind of emergency (those were few and far between in the world of erotica publishing) but because he was faintly obsessed with Lake's updates.

Arthur normally wasn't aroused by his authors' words. Frightened by them, yes. Dubious about the logistics, regularly. But given an erection by them? Never. Well, never until now. And it was weird because most of the people who bought their erotica were women. Not that many men read it, or were fans of it, so Arthur wasn't entirely sure why it was that Lake's words got under his skin and seemed to beat a steady pulse down into his erection until he just wanted to sneak off at work to wank.

He didn't, obviously. The work toilets were rank but still, it was a worrying turn of events.

Lake hadn't sent any of Rules for Roommates over for a while now. Eight days in fact (not that he was counting, only he definitely was, fairly religiously). So when Arthur checked his blackberry and he had an email he felt a bit sick with anticipation. It was 11am on a Thursday morning, but he was immediately a little bit horny. Last night's fairly intimate chat with Merlin hadn't helped and after they'd watched something innocuous for a while Arthur had come upstairs and tossed himself off in the shower. It had only taken a few, hard, strokes and he'd come all over the tiles. But it still hadn't taken the edge off. Living with Merlin was like being a diabetic living in a cake-shop, or, or, being a squirrel with a nut allergy. Temptation was always there with its bright blue eyes and uncoordinated limbs and pale skin that looked as if it would be so soft to touch.

Arthur felt slight shame as he lounged back on his bed and got his iPad out to read the latest missive from Lake. Where he had last left off was where Harry and James had ended up snogging for hours, with the rule that things couldn't go further. But, Arthur suspected, given that this was, you know, erotica, that that rule would be over pretty fucking sharpish.

'Dear Arthur,

Sorry for the delay on this. Other deadlines intervened. I have attached the next few chapters of RfR. As you will read, things have begun to heat up! I am trying to strike a balance between romance and sex and I hope that you feel this is working? I would appreciate your thoughts.

Kind regards,
Lake'

Most of Arthur's thoughts about Lake's porn revolved around the words 'fucking hell that's sick' which wasn't an opinion you could necessarily share with an author. But his thoughts about this work were just as unhelpful: namely that this was incredibly arousing and even though Lake was probably some creepy perma-tanned nympho with nipple-rings and too much wet-look gel in his hair, he found his writing horny as hell.

Arthur began to read. After the french-kissing incident James and Harry were a little awkward with one another until they had a friendly game of squash and James seemed to realise that their friendship was too good to ruin. James spent the next fortnight bringing home a slew of women and having loud sex with them as if to reaffirm his heterosexuality, and Harry found himself annoyed and turned on by his moans in equal measure. One night Harry was horny and bored and he went to bed early. It was whilst wanking in his bed, loudly given that James wasn't in, that he realised that he was being watched. James was indeed home, and standing in the doorway. Harry stopped, horrified and embarrassed, but James said 'go on' and Harry ended up deciding to put on a show. He dragged his heel up the bed, sluttish, and moaned into his hand, sucking his fingers and adding their wetness to his erection. James came closer and closer until he was kneeling next to the bed, watching Harry's dick avidly. 'I'm going to come,' Harry warned him and James just kept watching still, right until Harry came. Harry tried to reach for James but he stepped out of reach. 'New rule,' he said, his eyes intent. 'No touching.' His dick was heavy and red and hard when he pulled it out and Harry wanted to suck the head more than anything. Instead he watched whilst James stroked it and then knelt between his legs and asked him to come all over his chest. James did.

Arthur put his iPad down. He had mentally cast Merlin in the role of Harry a fair while ago and the image of Merlin fucking up into his own hand, his long fingers smeared with pre-come was too much for him.

I will not wank over my author's erotica, Arthur told himself sternly. Getting up and doing a couple of stiff circuits around the bed. It's too embarrassing. Lake is a perma-tanned nipple-pierced old Peter Andre-lookalike. Getting an erection from his work is not seemly. What would Uther think?

Thinking about Uther acted like being drenched with a freezing cold hosepipe and he felt calm enough to read on. The next chapters were more romantic. James and Harry were going closer - flirting, cooking together - whilst James still tried to pretend that he wasn't interested. But Harry knew that it was only a matter of time before James cracked and fucked Harry.

Arthur huffed to himself as he switched his iPad off. He wasn't being a very good editor at the moment. He was thinking with his penis too much, he told himself. He was behaving like Gwaine. He was going to go downstairs, go for a walk, and then type up some perfectly respectable editorial notes on Monday. Honestly.

***

'Arthur, Arthur, I need some help with the party guestlist,' Merlin ran into the kitchen where Arthur was raiding the fruit bowl. His hair was adorably tousled, as if he'd been clutching at it in his stress.

'What's up? I thought you'd already set up a facebook event about a month ago and then obsessively checked it once an hour to see how many people had 'accepted'.'

'Well, yeah, obviously I did that,' Merlin was unashamed. 'But I suddenly thought, all the rest of my book group are coming and should I ask Gwen but I don't want to upset you and I don't know what to do.' He paused for breath, ballpoint and clipboard poised.

Arthur raised an eyebrow, '1) I haven't teased you nearly enough about belonging to a book group, 2) why on earth do you have a clipboard? and 3) I am happy for you to invite her.' He shrugged, 'She didn't do anything wrong. And she's your friend.'

'But what if it's awkward,' Merlin insisted.

'Can't be any more awkward than Percy discovering I'm bisexual can it?' Arthur asked cheerfully, biting into his apple. 'In fact, if Gwen or Lance cause a scene it might go in your favour - it might distract from eight-foot of angry boyfriend.'

Merlin glowered at him, 'Stop enjoying this so much.'

'Shan't,' Arthur crunched his apple in a way which even he could admit was smug and irritating. 'And seriously? Is the clipboard necessary? What's next - a headset?'

Merlin flushed.

'Seriously?' Arthur boggled. 'You've bought a headset? This is a house-party, not Elton John's Oscars bash.'

'I just wanted one. I went into Argos and-'

Arthur groaned, 'I've told you not to go in there. You know that it's like crack to you. Just one flick through that catalogue and we're knee-deep in juicers and extension leads and power-drills.'

'I just find it soothing,' Merlin said, with dignity.

'You are weird,' Arthur said. 'But seriously, I'm happy as a clam for Gwen and Lance to be there. I doubt they'll come, but go ahead and ask them.'

'And you're sure Gwaine can come?' Merlin asked hopefully.

'He wouldn't miss it for the world.' Actually, Arthur had had to beg Gwaine to come. Gwaine had a crush on one of his ostensibly heterosexual colleagues and they were going out that night where Gwaine was going to try and 'seal the deal'. Gwaine had only given in when Arthur had promised to do all sorts of degrading things like make Gwaine a fry-up whilst naked and let him eat it off his body. Which wasn't even erotic, it was just gross and quite possibly dangerous what with all the hot oil everywhere. 'What's the plan for the big day itself?'

'Well,' Merlin sat down and finally put his clipboard down. 'I'm staying at Percy's tomorrow night and he's going to make me breakfast in bed, then we're going to go for a wander at Angel antique market, have a bit of lunch, and then come back here to set up. I've allowed three hours for setting up time. I hope it's long enough.'

'I'm pretty sure it'll be long enough,' Arthur said. He wanted to properly make fun of Merlin over his behaviour but in reality it just made him feel very affectionate and protective towards him. He also felt nervous about Saturday. His present for Merlin had taken days of agonising to find, but it was sat in the corner of his bedroom wrapped in brown paper tied up with string. Merlin's favourite book was Lolita by Nabokov and Arthur had tracked down a first edition copy at no small expense. He hadn't got him a card, or anything girly like that, just the gift. He felt no small anxiety over whether Merlin would like it or not. He'd never really cared that much about anyone's reaction to a present before. Most of his girlfriends had got La Perla underwear and flowers. Easy and straightforward. But Merlin was neither of those things.

'I just want it to be a good party,' Merlin sighed. 'I had zero friends as a teenager and I'm really excited about all the people I like being together in one place and getting drunk and doing it in the bathroom.'

Arthur raised an eyebrow, 'Are you secretly hoping for this to turn out like an episode of Skins?'.

'No,' Merlin insisted, then sagged back in his chair and admitted, 'kind of yes.'

'It'll be a good party, honestly. People care about you. And people like free booze. What could go wrong?'

'Um, no one turns up, there's a fight, someone's sick on your expensive rug, someone finds my secret teddy-bear collection and makes fun of them, someone-'

Arthur raised a quelling hand. 'I was asking the question rhetorically. Now, tell me more about this teddy-bear collection...'

'Oh no,' Merlin squeaked.

***

Merlin's anxious face between the hours of nine and ten, as he waited and waited for more people to turn up, made Arthur feel vaguely queasy whenever he looked at him.

'People never turn up to parties on time,' Arthur soothed, trying to get Merlin to relax his death grip on his bright pink punch. 'Stop drinking so much punch. You'll throw up.'

'Vomiting would be preferable to this social shame,' Merlin claimed angrily. 'I knew no one would come.'

'There are ten people here,' Arthur pointed out. 'And you said the party was starting at nine. No one takes that as gospel.'

'Well they should have done,' Merlin stropped, going again to stir the punch bowl and take a sneaky refill. 'Percy promised he'd be back by now with the guys from the bar.'

'I'm sure he'll get here soon, with two people in tow, bringing us up to thirteen guests.'

'Unlucky thirteen,' Merlin muttered.

'Look, let me give you your birthday present quickly, that'll take your mind off it yeah?'

'Yeah,' Merlin was eager and puppyish again.

'Come on,' Arthur tried to sound cool but inside he was deeply nervous. What if he didn't like it? What if it was too much? Arthur wondered often if Merlin had any idea how he felt about him. He seemed to float around in a little cloud of obliviousness but sometimes Arthur felt as if the words 'I want you' were emblazoned on his head in neon writing.

He pushed open the door to his room and switched the light on. There in the corner was the parcel.

'Ooh, brown paper packages tied up with string, those are a few of my favourite things!' Merlin warbled. Then he grimaced, put the punch down, 'Maybe I have drunk too much.' Merlin folded himself onto the floor and reached for it, 'So exciting, Arthur! I love presents!'

'I know you do,' Arthur was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, feeling strangely defensive.

Merlin's drunkenness didn't lend itself to untying complicated knots so Arthur knelt down next to him, untied them for him. He smiled up at him, 'I told you to lay off the punch.'

'Whatever,' Merlin greedily tore through the paper then, 'Oh. Oh.'

'Good oh?' Arthur asked jokily, but his voice was shaking slightly.

'Yes, oh my goodness I can't believe you've got me this, you're amazing,' Merlin grabbed Arthur and hugged him so tight that Arthur could feel his heartbeat. They didn't touch each other much normally. Because whenever he casually brushed against him it was all Arthur could do not to linger, not to breathe Merlin in and enfold him in his arms. Arthur hugged him back, hesitantly at first then tighter. 'You're the best friend ever, you know that right? Honestly. I know that only seven-year-olds have best friends but I really feel like you are.' Merlin's voice was earnest and low, right in Arthur's ear.

'Yeah, I know what you mean,' Arthur said, squeezing him tightly. Then he caught himself, realised that it was perhaps creepy to smell the hair of your roommate (pomegranates) and pushed Merlin away slightly. 'So you're pleased?'

'Beyond pleased! I'm going to go lock it away so no one touches it tonight!'

'Yeah, the teddies can look after it,' Arthur joked, to cover how raw he felt. Arthur was normally all about sex, but he felt like he could just hold Merlin for hours and not get bored. Could listen to him witter on about his day, or his hatred of Jeremy Clarkson, forever and not want to get up. 'Maybe I've had too much punch,' he muttered, feeling maudlin all of the sudden.

The doorbell rang then and he took the excuse to head downstairs and pretend nothing out of the ordinary was going on. It was Gwen and Lance, hovering awkwardly on the doorstep. 'Hi, Gwen,' he kissed her on both cheeks. 'God you're freezing, is it snowing again?'

'Um, yes, a little,' she looked nervous.

'Lance,' he shook his hand. 'Sorry about everything before. And congratulations on your great choice of girlfriend.'

'Thanks mate,' Lance squeezed his hand, his face split in an uncomplicated grin.

'Merlin has made some ludicrously strong bright pink punch and at the rate he's putting it away there's going to be pink vomit everywhere tonight.'

'Ew,' Gwen's nose wrinkled. 'What's he put in it?'

'It might be quicker to ask what he hasn't put in it,' Arthur winked. 'Come on, I'll get you both a cup.'

Once ten o'clock hit, more and more people turned up and the party spilled out from the kitchen into the lounge. Every time Arthur looked for Merlin he was in the midst of a gaggle of people, opening a gift or card and hugging everyone. Arthur sniffed, no longer feeling special.

At eleven o'clock Gwaine rocked up with a bottle of Jagermeister. 'You're late,' Arthur said.

'I went out with the guy beforehand. He sucked me off. Great night.'

Arthur wanted to feel slightly disgusted but couldn't, and ended up laughing, 'Do you ever think you'll grow up?'

'Chances are slim to none when my life is this good, Pendragon,' he threw an arm round his shoulders. 'Now where's the birthday boy?'

Arthur carefully extracted Merlin from a rather intense looking goth girl. 'I'll catch up with you later Nimueh, yeah?' Merlin said, then turned to take Gwaine in. 'Oh, hello. You must be,' he reached up and stroked a bit of Gwaine's hair, 'Gwaine.'

'Ha, my reputation precedes me,' Gwaine clapped him on the shoulders. 'Happy birthday mate. Good party,' he looked around the crowded room. 'I brought Jagermeister, want to do some?'

'Yeah,' Merlin said happily.

'No, Merlin, that's hardly sensible,' Arthur tutted, feeling like a responsible parent. 'It's only eleven and you'll peak too soon.'

Merlin stood on one leg without wobbling, 'I have spent the past hour drinking water in order to bring myself back from the edge of vomiting pink punch all over your expensive rug.'

'Fine, fine.' Arthur grabbed some cans of Red Bull and some shot glasses and quickly fixed them each the unholy combination of a shot of Jager in Red Bull. 'One, two, three,' they smashed the glasses down so the Jager overturned into the energy drink and gulped them down.

'Ugh that's disgusting,' Arthur said at the same time as Gwaine proclaimed, 'Magnificent!'

'Now Merlin, where's that boyfriend of yours? Arthur tells me he's nine foot tall and I've got to see this for myself,' he was peering around the room as if expecting Percy to be crouched behind a kitchen unit or lurking in a potted plant.

'Um, he's not here yet. I just texted him again and he's running late, the tube was down because of the snow so they're a bit stuck. They'll be here soon though,' he sounded hopeful.

'Ah never mind, got any birthday cake?' Gwaine asked, throwing an easy arm around Merlin and walking him away through the crowd.

Arthur shrugged and turned to find the goth girl standing right behind him. He jumped slightly, 'Hello?'

'Hi, I'm Nimueh,' she held out a hand.

She was pretty, Arthur noticed, but there was something a little odd about her.

'I'm Arthur, Merlin's landlord,' he shook hers. It was cold.

'I'm a writer, like Merlin,' she said.

'Oh,' Arthur leaned in, 'do you know the celebrity whose autobiography he's been working on?'

Her brow crinkled, 'No, he writes erotica,' she said, then clapped a hand over her mouth. 'Oh shit I'm so sorry, he hates anyone knowing. He's very good though, he's won lots of awards. That boy has a mind like a sewer.'

Arthur developed a suspicion then, which was groundless and unlikely but he felt it like a sick certainty, 'No maybe he has mentioned it to me. What's his pen-name again, Laine or something?'

'Lake,' she giggled, moving closer to Arthur. 'It's such a silly name, but he could hardly write under the name Merlin and stay anonymous could he?'

'No, I guess not,' Arthur smiled but his mind was racing. If Merlin was Lake then... Rules for Roommates, could it be about them? Could Merlin feel the same way about him that he felt for Merlin? And how could Arthur reveal that he was Merlin's editor without causing huge embarrassment all round?

Just then the doorbell rang, 'I'll get it!' Merlin yelled, slightly glassy-eyed.

He reappeared a few minutes later with Percy and two other good-looking guys. 'Happy birthday Merlin,' Percy bent and snogged him, and the room erupted in whoops and cheers.

Arthur did not whoop. Nor did he cheer.

'You like him, I can tell,' Nimueh said, her gaze unnerving.

'No I don't,' Arthur lied easily.

'I can tell when you lie. He's not meant to be with Percy. Percy still sleeps around.'

'How do you know?'

She shrugged, enigmatic, 'I just do. He's a special person, and he needs someone who's good for him. Someone who treats him well. Percy doesn't.'

'Yeah, well, how can I persuade him of that?' Arthur asked.

She smiled sympathetically.

'It wasn't a rhetorical question,' he said, again. 'I want to know how. If I tell him Percy's cheating on him he won't believe me. He's blind to Percy's faults. And he's oblivious to my charms.'

'I've read Rules for Roommates,' she said, blandly. 'It's his latest novel and it's about a guy seducing his male roommate. I don't think he's as oblivious as you think. Now go and talk to him,' she said.

'Thanks,' he said, to empty space. She'd gone. Weird. He shivered even though it was warm inside.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge, 'Oh, hey Percy. How are you?' he shook his hand.

'Good mate,' Percy's handshake could only be described as 'bone-crushing'. 'Got stuck in the snow.'

'Yeah,' Arthur knew he was lying and could smell the alcohol on him.

Merlin looked up at Percy adoringly, 'But you've made it now, and brought the guys from the bar along too. I haven't seen them for ages!'

'Yeah,' Percy's eyes moved away from Merlin to make contact with one of the men. Tall, well-built, his white teeth a slash of bright in a tanned face. He winked at Percy. Merlin didn't notice. Arthur did.

Gwaine loped up, put his arm round Arthur and kissed him wetly on the ear. It wasn't erotic but it did the trick, Percy's eyes narrowed. 'Who's this?'

'Gwaine,' he held out his hand to the taller man. 'Arthur's-'

'Friend,' Merlin put in quickly.

'Fuck-buddy,' Gwaine amended, with a lascivious grin.

'Oh right, well,' Percy swallowed. 'Nice to meet you.' The words sounded like they were being forced past gritted teeth.

'Yeah, you too,' Gwaine's smile was guileless. 'Enjoy the party, and take care of Merlin - he's a pretty special guy.'

'Yeah,' Percy's arm tightened around his waist. Merlin wriggled uncomfortably.

'Percy, let me, um, show you the terrace,' Arthur tried to break the tension.

'I've already seen it,' Percy said. 'Merlin sucked me off on it last week,' he added nastily.

There was a short silence then Merlin gasped, 'Percy.'

'What? I doubt Arthur and his fuck-buddy mind.'

'Hey, I've got a name,' Gwaine's voice was low and harsh.

'Gwyn, wasn't that what you told me Merlin?'

'I didn't want you to get jealous and angry,' Merlin said.

'I bet you're fucking him aren't you Merlin, so desperate for a bit of affection that-'

'Hey,' Arthur stepped between them. 'Leave him alone. Merlin would never do anything like that.'

'Oh fuck off, who asked you?'

Arthur saw red then, 'This is my house and I want you to leave. You're the one who fucks around all the time and makes him feel like shit. He's never done anything like that to you, you hypocrite.' In retrospect, squaring up to a man built like the Incredible Hulk wasn't the brightest of ideas. But Arthur had never pretended to be bright. Which was probably why he didn't see the fist coming, and the next thing he knew he was flat on his back on the kitchen floor, his eyes fluttering closed as darkness enveloped him.

CHAPTER EIGHT